In the end we only regret the chances we don’t take

Four words, that’s all. Just four. 19 letters in total, which set the course for the journey I had decided to take.

Find a Dominant Dorset

I typed them into the search engine. Step one complete!

What came up started a crazy chain of events I could never have dreamt up, not in a hundred lifetimes.

  1. bemydom.com
  2. fetlife.com
  3. Vivastreet, and advert: Intelligent Dominant seeking submissive female

I clicked on number 3. It looked smaller, more manageable than the others. I remember how my heart started to race as I read the words, it seemed to offer everything I craved. No, no, no, no, no…. It wouldn’t be that easy. Not for me. I don’t deserve that, do I? Surely not.

Back to the search engine, clicking on number 1 “Oh. it’s free!” I signed up straight away. Before I had even completed a basic profile I had over 30 messages in my inbox. Blimey…. BACK TO THE SEARCH ENGINE!

Vivastreet….hmmmmm

Back again, next onto Fetlife. Another completely different experience. I created a very quick profile and had a quick perv. before clicking back onto my expanding inbox on Bemydom. Too much!!!!!! Another quick look at Vivastreet before sloping off to bed.

This pattern continued over the next few days. 

I found some interesting things on Fetlife, some nice people too. And discovered that Bemydom was actually one part of a very large umbrella site, where ten men for every woman hunted for sexual encounters. Not many interesting people to talk to at all. I wanted to learn about D/s, not bed hop. All the while I was planning out how to approach the Intelligent Dominant seeking submissive female. I’m a strong believer of the saying “If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no” and as I had made the decision to look for a happier life I would be foolish to pass by this advert…. So I did it. I replied. I sent a message answering unasked questions, I had thought hard about what to write, put it all together, rambled a little more than I intended to, hit send, and went to bed. I had a muddy obstacle course race the next day and needed to be up early to get there in time.

I had a response the following evening, full of questions. It seems my curiosity was not the only one which had been piqued. I spent the evening thinking on the answers, another early night as I had to travel for work the next day… I would write the response the following evening when I had more time to do so.

Next day did not go as planned

My 13 month old son had an awful accident and ended up in hospital for 8 days with horrific burns, there was one point where it looked as though he would never come home. Obviously my reply was put on the back-burner. I did not consider a quick message to ask him to bear with me. Instead I got a very polite message back 5 days later. He seemed genuine in his desire to hear back, not overbearing, just….well, just right. He attached a picture of himself, and coupled with the way he was talking to me I knew I had to send the message that, maybe, I should have sent a few days earlier. I had the evening in the hospital, my baby was sleeping and on the mend, and, well, this intelligent Dominant seeking submissive female  had a very soothing effect on me. I opened up, answered all of his questions and more unasked ones. I attached a picture of myself, taken after the race the previous weekend.first one sent

Not only was it the only one I had on my phone (I wasn’t comfortable in front of the camera, let alone selfies) it showed me at my happiest (I had the biggest smile on my face). The proverbial pig in sh*t. If he didn’t like me like that…well, as I have said before, I am just me…  I closed the email with this comment:

 I need to find someone who I can trust with my submission, who will be reasonably patient when I make mistakes, and who understands the power they have and the care that must be taken with it. If they are able to spark my imagination and not make me feel cheap for sharing my fantasies then that is all the better. 
He was obviously not deterred by the mud. I received a reply with answers to my questions, reiterating that he has his way of doing things and a submissive’s life is challenging and often requires leaps of faith
All that I could do next was to ask him if he would consider me.
So I did. I asked…
And my world would never be the same

One thought on “In the end we only regret the chances we don’t take

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s