Then it hits you so much harder than you thought it would.

M and I soon settled into a routine of spending the weekends together and an occasional weeknight. With my children home much of the time and living an hours drive apart our time in each others company was somewhat limited. M had met the boys before, and they thought he was wonderful. On the weekends … Continue reading Then it hits you so much harder than you thought it would.

Try imagining a space where it’s always safe and warm.

I received a message from M one day while I was at work. He was listening to The Cure in his workshop and while Love Cats was playing he immediately thought of me. We had been seeing each other on occasion for quite some time, he was a firm friend and I was taken aback by his … Continue reading Try imagining a space where it’s always safe and warm.

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.

The day had arrived. I was prepared, physically and mentally. Work was done, the boys were with their dad and I was heading west for "The biggest & best Kink night in the South West !!" I was beyond nervous, but knew that if I didn't keep pushing myself forward I would start to pull back … Continue reading The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.

There is no one giant step that does it, it’s a lot of little steps.

Following Kink and Cake my Fetlife profile suddenly became more interesting. Before I had even arrived home I had received half a dozen friends requests, and as I accepted them my feed gradually took on a different feel. No longer was it littered with pictures and writings by unknown kinksters, there were now updates from … Continue reading There is no one giant step that does it, it’s a lot of little steps.

Life shrinks or expands, in proportion to one’s courage

Up until this point my experiences had all been private. My online presence could only be described as "lurking." Now though I had decided to get out and about to events when I was available. My visit to the couple had been planned as a step towards this goal, and now that I knew the … Continue reading Life shrinks or expands, in proportion to one’s courage

My only requirement for life is that I don’t get stuck in a rut.

Though there was sadness at not being owned, I understood and accepted the turn of events. If wanted to make the most of my life and not be stuck at home wallowing in the what ifs I had to get going. I knew that I wasn't looking for a new dominant, I wasn't ready for … Continue reading My only requirement for life is that I don’t get stuck in a rut.